I remember countless times as a little girl wishing I could change the way I looked. I remember wishing that the opposite of high heels existed…something that would sink my feet down into the ground to make me appear shorter. Starting junior high at over 6 feet tall is not exactly comfortable when you’re thirteen years old.
I remember staring at my dimple chin in the mirror, wishing that something existed that could hide what my siblings called my “butt chin.” Nice. Thanks for the complex, guys! 😉 I seriously used to wish I could fill it with putty and cover it with my mom’s concealer.
I remember absolutely despising my overweight state at a young age. I was what they’d now call clinically obese. Oddly enough, the one thing I had the power to change was the one thing I held onto so tightly. Hate my chin? Eat a muffin. Hate my height? How ’bout a donut? Seriously messed up.
Fast forward a
bunch of few years, and I have learned to have a completely different outlook on those things I once hated. While my weight is not where I’d like it to be, I’m still 76 pounds lighter than I was at my heaviest weight. That’s progress! I’ve still got a few pounds to go, but I’m learning to focus less on that and more on being healthy…not just thin for thinness sake.
Guess what? My chin still has that dimple. Always has. Always will. But it’s me, and I now love it. I think I loved it the most when I was pregnant with my second child. During a 3D ultrasound, the tech said, “Oh, my! I think this little girl has a dimple in her chin!” Sure enough, at the time of her birth, I was so excited to see that my little Nadia bears the same chin as mine. While not nearly as pronounced as her mom’s, Nadia’s little dimple is an adorable part of who she is.
As for my height, still 6’1″. Thank goodness…otherwise, I’d be worried that early onset osteoporosis had set in! 🙂 I’m not going to lie…there are still times I feel like a giant. I notice random people looking at me, and then glancing down to see if I’m wearing massive heels of some sort. Last night at my sister’s first bridal shower, I overhead one of the ladies say to the gal sitting next to her, “Look how tall she is!.” She said this not once, but four times. Seriously. Um, ma’am…I can hear you, and I am fully aware of my height. Thank you. But you know what? It didn’t bother me last night. In fact, it did the opposite…it made me want to stand up a little straighter and announce with my posture that I’m thrilled the Lord has given me over 6 feet of life. I guess that just means there’s more of me to go around?! 🙂
And so I guess today, as I write a post about wellness, I’m sharing with you that my heart has learned to be well in a slightly different form than others might think. I may not be super-model thin, but who says I have to be? My body bears the scars and stretch marks of birthing children, and trust me, it’s not pretty. But, it’s beautiful in a way that shows that God gave my body the ability to bear three wonderful blessings. I’d choose my munchkins over ripped abs any day!
And so for this gal with lanky long legs and a “butt chin,” I’m learning to be content. It’s a process for sure, but one that is teaching me great truths.
As and added bonus, I think I’m finally starting to drop a few of those last stubborn pregnancy pounds now that I’ve stopped obsessing about the weight. Stepping on the scale this morning revealed a couple more pounds lost, and I honestly haven’t been really trying. Giving up my control and obsessiveness about it has brought freedom, and it’s beginning to show on the scale. Funny how that works, huh?