A Coffee Story

I opened it on my 30th birthday. A gift from my grandparents, so wonderful it brought me to tears. An antique coffee grinder, in pristine condition, passed from my great-grandmother, to my grandfather, and now to me.

I had spent an evening at their house a few weeks prior to my birthday. Grandma and I poured over her tried and true recipes, while Grandpa shared stories and old photos. Like water to quench deep thirst, our time together quenched my soul’s desire to hear family history. Stories. Lots of stories.

That’s when I saw it…the antique coffee grinder atop their kitchen cabinet. How had I never noticed before? As Grandpa retold stories of grinding his mother’s coffee each morning in that very grinder, I couldn’t help but want to know more. Curious by nature, I wanted to know everything about it…how old was it? Was it handmade? What kind of coffee did Great Grandma like? Was it hard to grind the beans? I began to wish that this coffee grinder could speak, telling stories of days past.

You can imagine my great surprise when I opened my birthday gift several weeks later…Grandpa had decided that he’d like for me to have the coffee grinder. Humbled and grateful for the gift, I began to realize that this gift plays into a story that I hold near and dear.

You see, I have this God-given bent toward nostalgia. A way of finding a story or a lesson in the simplest of things. Some might call it silly, or even passé, but I have learned much from my daily cup of coffee. And this gift from Grandpa? It has been a great teacher in my classroom of life and coffee.

And so, if I could bend your ear for a few moments, I’d like to tell you my story. Coffee’s story. Our story together. Why a cup of coffee to me is actually a lot more than just a cup of coffee.

Once upon a time there was a young girl who, desiring to act like a grown-up, forced herself to drink coffee. She hated the taste but loved the idea, and over time she began to look forward to a cup ‘o joe. 

Across the land, in a small town, lived a young man who longed to spend time with the young girl. Upon hearing that she liked coffee, the young man forced himself to acquire a taste for the black liquid. 

As fate would have it, the young girl and the young boy began to frequent coffee shops. As they sampled the various types of coffee, their love for one another grew. Coffee shops across the land could tell stories of the conversations had between the boy and girl. 

Several years passed, and the boy and girl were happily married. Coffee shops were still frequented, and they enjoyed many cups of coffee in their new kitchen, decorated to resemble the coffee shop where they’d first fallen in love. During a particularly stressful and sleepless time, the young boy brought a cup of coffee to the young girl each and every morning. They often ended their evening meal with a steaming cup of decaf while they shared their hopes and dreams with one another. 

Several years into their marriage, the boy and girl enjoyed opening their home to guests, savoring the conversations and friendships that grew across the table, mugs of steaming coffee in hand. Those cups of coffee began, over time, to tell stories. Stories of family. Friendship. Love. Devotion. 

And still today, the boy and girl continue to drink in the goodness that their cups of coffee provide. They’ve learned that the act of sharing something simple, yet special, opens doorways to meaningful conversation. Countless cups of coffee have facilitated relationship-strengthening conversations, both between the boy and girl, as well as their loved ones. 

The boy and girl will continue to share their coffee, as well as their home. They hope and pray that others, both friends and family, will see God’s love shine through them as they share something so simple. That for this generation, and many to come, their loved ones will re-tell the stories and lessons learned over their cups of coffee. That they’ll never forget God’s faithfulness and goodness.

Grandpa and Grandma, if you’re reading this, I hope it gives you a slight glimpse into how very much your birthday gift means to me. I treasure it now, and will certainly treasure it forever.

And to you, my dear readers, maybe this post is silly. Maybe it’s trite. Or, maybe it’s true and meaningful in the simplest of forms. Maybe more joy can be found in the daily mundane. Maybe you’ll look at your cup of coffee differently tomorrow. Or maybe you’ll decide to join me for a cup ‘o joe? My front door is always open, the coffee cupboard is always stocked, and the coffee pot is just the push of a button away from some great conversation. Or, if coffee just isn’t your thing, there’s always other options. Although, I will most likely try to convert you to coffee drinking. After all, have you ever tried a homemade latte!?!?

Whatever your choice, my home is always open.

And you are always welcome. ALWAYS!

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Happy 6th Birthday, Nadia!

My dear Nadia Grace Kay Archer,

Your name was very carefully chosen six years ago. Bursting with excitement about adding another child to our family, we wanted your name to reflect the heartbeat of our family. The reason for our existence. And so, we chose Nadia Grace Kay…”hope,” “grace,” and “rejoice.”

Your daddy and I would sit together in the evenings, both of our hands on my swelling belly, feeling your tiny feet kick. And we would pray. We would pray for your health, as my pregnancy with you was somewhat complicated. We would pray for a safe delivery, as we knew you’d be joining this world earlier than full-term due to those complications. And we would pray for us, as we understood the importance of raising a daughter to understand the very meaning of her name…hope. grace. rejoice. 

We could never have guessed the journey that you’d pave for us. What an honor to teach you, to love you, and to care for you. We continue to pray for wisdom as we teach you. That we would continue to point you to Jesus…the only One who can give you the hope and the grace that will cause you to rejoice every day of your life.

I could literally write a book, filled front to back, with stories of your six years. From your seemingly endless colicky nights as an infant to your adventurous climbing stage as a toddler, we realized right away that you weren’t going to let us “slide by” with parenting. You required so much attention. So much discipline and direction. Random strangers would comment on “that spark in your eye” that showed the whole world your spunk and spirit. Some days your spunk and spirit would drive me insane, but most days I couldn’t get enough of it. And you know what? Those strangers were right…you had more spunk and spirit than almost any child I’d ever met.

Over the past year or so, that spunky spirit has taken on a bit of a different look. While there’s no doubt that the spark is still there, we have begun to see a side of you that makes my mommy heart swell. Your love for people and your desire to care for them is clearly evident. Nobody can walk through our front doors for longer than a few minutes before you’ve offered them something to drink or eat. You have a very hospitable little heart, and I love that about you. I want to fan those flames and give you opportunities to practice hospitality, as it’s the heartbeat of my soul, as well. I have visions of us hosting dinner parties together one day, my dear. I know you’d be fantastic! I pray that you will always look to the needs of others. That you would always love people in word and in deed. And that you would do all of this because of a much deeper love that you have for Jesus. May His love and spirit always flow through your smile, your words, and your hands.

I love the way you are able to make a new friend anywhere, anytime. Your outgoing and carefree personality draw others to you, and you love to befriend anyone. I pray that as you begin kindergarten in fifteen short days, you will be drawn toward and befriend others who will strengthen you and challenge you. That you would be sensitive to the numerous personalities you’ll encounter. That you’ll befriend those who might not otherwise have a friend. That in whatever you do and whoever you play with on the playground, that you’ll shine for Jesus every day of Kindergarten, and every day of your life.

Sometimes I laugh when I think of how very similar we are, yet so very opposite at the same time. Your lighthearted personality sometimes clashes with my Type-A personality. We are good for each other, my dear. You teach me to slow down and let my hair down a bit, while I teach you that a little organization in life is a good thing. 🙂 We have much to teach one another in the years ahead, and I cannot wait to continue this journey together. I love you, sweet pea! Enjoy your special birthday. Revel in each moment, and know that you are loved far deeper than you’ll probably ever realize. Happy birthday, baby!

Great-Grandpa Tootsie Roll

My kids call him Great-Grandpa Tootsie Roll. And their eyes light up every single time. Every time his hand, wrinkled with age, reaches into his pocket to reveal a chocolaty treat, they smile while my heart swells. Could my children, yet so young, possibly understand the blessing and gift involved in such a simple act?

Can my children comprehend and appreciate the hours spent sitting on a bucket near the lake with Great-Grandpa Tootsie Roll, learning first-hand the patience it takes to catch a fish? Do they understand the countless hours he spends catching, cleaning, and preparing the Blue Gill we excitedly eat during a family fish fry? Nothing tastes quite as good and Grandpa and Grandma’s fried fish.

This man, my husband’s grandfather, might as well be my blood relation. Twelve years have passed since the day I first met him, yet I feel that I’ve known him much longer.  Shortly after Tanner and I started dating, we took a day trip to meet his grandparents, and they immediately welcomed me with open arms. Right away, from day one, there was something special about Eugene Maifeld. Something that pulled at my heart strings. Little did I know then how hard those heart strings would be pulled a decade later as I watch him with my children.

Those heart strings were stretched thin yesterday, as we spent the day with Eugene and his wonderful wife, Deloris. We toured the backyard garden, and my kids watched in amazement as Eugene dug up potato hills, letting them gather the produce. Purple and yellow onions, pulled straight from the ground, were cleaned and prepared for us to take home, their earthy fragrance filling the air. And I learned that I have much to glean from this man. Oh, how I desire a garden like his! And yet I know that a garden like this takes years of practice. I wish we lived closer so he could teach me. So I could dig my hands in the soil with him, learning each gardening trick.

Eugene and Deloris asked if we could help clean out some items from their basement, in preparation for a garage sale they’d be having. In their minds, these items were old and not useful to them. In my mind, these items were like gold. Many items were handmade in Eugene’s workshop, telling stories of the hours spent crafting items from old barn wood. Other items were rusty in the best way possible, their patina retelling stories from the farm on which they once lived. I thanked Eugene as I loaded several items into the trunk of our car, hoping that he had even the slightest inkling of what these items mean to me.

You see, filling my home with items that tell a story fills my heart at the same time.  In Joshua chapter four, the Israelites were commanded to stack stones after a life event, signaling to the following generations that God had worked in mighty ways. The idea was that subsequent generations would see the stacked stones and ask about the story they held. I love this! While I may not have stones to stack, I have collected several older items from both sides of my family, each telling a story of God’s faithfulness to my family members. These items are among the most treasured in my home, and I love telling my children the stories they hold.

And so today, while I find a spot in my house for the items from Eugene and Deloris’ house, I will smile as I remember our day with them yesterday. Another stone stacked in our hearts. Because some day, those stones and those items from their home will tell their stories even louder. Because when God calls them home, I want my children to remember. The fishing. The potatoes in the garden. The toy tractors in their living room. But most importantly, the love. I want them to remember the deep and abiding love that is represented by a wrinkled hand offering a Tootsie Roll. It really is the simple things in life that can be so profound. And I love that about Eugene.

Proverbs 22:4 “The reward for humility and fear of the Lord is riches and honor and life.”

Eugene and Deloris, I’d say you’ve been rewarded. Your humility and fear of the Lord have given you many years of life, rich with stories and love that your future generations will long honor. We love you!

Seasons of Marriage

My lovely sister made the most beautiful bride on Saturday! Arriving to the church a bit later than anticipated, I was disappointed I missed seeing her get into her gorgeous gown. So when I walked in and saw her dressed, hair and makeup stunning, it brought tears to my eyes immediately. She was breathtaking. 

The church was decorated absolutely amazingly, and it really did feel like a fairy tale.

Little girls at the reception kept referring to Amanda as “the princess.” And I couldn’t have agreed more…she did look like a princess! And let’s not forget the groom…he looked very handsome, much like Prince Charming himself. 🙂So many memories made this weekend! It was absolutely wonderful, and I loved every minute of it.

Something occurred to me throughout the day on Saturday. I was quietly observing and taking mental note of the different seasons of marriage. As I watched Amanda excitedly prepare for her groom, there were tears shed as the bride and groom exchanged gifts. A handsome watch for Jonathan, and beautiful diamonds for Amanda…I wiped away a tear as they read the sweet letters they’d prepared for one another. Such deep love and appreciation for one another. Such excitement. Such newness in their love. It was precious.

Later that morning I observed one of the bridesmaids, married for some time now. Talking on the phone with her husband who was caring for their children at home, she was dictating instructions for how to clean up the bed linens from a child who had wet the bed the night before. No love letters here. No diamonds. Not even necessarily newness or excitement. But, love? Definitely there. Changing sheets from a bedtime accident does indeed say love. Just in a different way.

Throughout the day, another bridesmaid quietly slipped away several times in order to feed her infant son. Having three kids under the age of two, this woman amazes me in many ways. In a two year period, I know that she and her husband have experienced more sleepless nights than they’d ever imagined. Amidst exhaustion and caring for three little boys, I’m certain there haven’t been too many quiet moments for love letters or diamonds in their lives. But, love? Certainly. In a more profound and deeper fashion than they could’ve imagined on their wedding day.

Then there was my little family of five. All of us were in the wedding, and we had worried for weeks (months, actually) that our three little ones would not cooperate for pictures or walking down the aisle. But they did beautifully! There were certainly tense moments, and definitely no time for love notes of any kind between Tanner and I. But, love? Never a question. Watching the love of my life, dressed handsomely in a tux, care for our three blessings while I stood in another picture…it was love. I had been asked to sing during the wedding ceremony…the same song I sang to Tanner at our wedding ten years ago. As I stood on stage and the music filled the air, my heart swelled with love for my groom. I loved singing that song to him as my new groom on our wedding day, but I think I loved singing it more ten years later. Love. In a deeper sense than I could’ve imagined on my wedding day.

Then I observed the parents of the bride and groom. My mom and dad, married for forty years, giving away their daughter’s hand in marriage.
Jonathan’s mom and dad, beaming with pride for the man their son has become.
And I couldn’t help but think of the seasons of love these two marriages have seen. Through the ups and downs, these two couples have proved that the precious union of marriage can indeed thrive amidst seasons of both happiness and sadness. Again, no love letters or gifts exchanged between these couples on Saturday. Maybe not even words of affirmation amidst the busyness of wedding day preparation. But, love? Definitely there. In a deeper way than most might see or realize.

And so I was reminded in a profound way this weekend…love has seasons. Marriage has seasons. And just like the changing of the weather pattern seasons, we can expect that moments in our marriages will look different. Were it not for the snow and ice covered streets in Winter, we’d not appreciate the newly budding trees in the Spring. Were it not for the sweltering heat of the Summer sun, we’d not breathe in deeply the crispness of the cool Fall air. In much the same way, the bitter days of marriage teach us to appreciate even more the sweetness that follows. Arguments, differing opinions, sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, crying babies…each stressful moment creates space for deeper love and appreciation for the one who does life with you. And on the flip-side, each sweet moment does just the same…each kiss goodnight, a quiet conversation while the kids fall asleep, the simple squeeze of your love’s hand…the simple acts of love that come with each season of marriage are more profound than I could’ve imagined.

So if you’re married, revel in the season you’re in. Trust me, I understand that there might not be time, money, or energy for love letters, date nights, or diamonds. But there doesn’t have to be to fall more in love with your spouse. The love of a husband and wife is a beautiful thing, and I’m so glad to have witnessed several seasons of love this weekend.

And to the love of my life, I can’t wait to experience many more seasons with you. Thanks for doing life with me, Tanner! I love you!

Fun In The Sun

Summertime, summertime, sum-sum-summertime!!!
I’m a very blessed momma to be able to spend the summer with these three. Love them!!!
 It finally feels like summer around here, and we’ve been busy enjoying it. And by busy, I mean a whole new kind of busy. The house is never clean busy. Laundry galore busy. Constantly mediating sibling rivalry busy. Preparing for my sister’s wedding busy. Constant trips to the swimming pool busy. Can’t hear myself think busy. Did I mention the messy house and extra laundry?

People will often comment that I’m so lucky to be able to stay home with my children. And while I don’t disagree with that, I wonder if they understand what it’s really like. Many sacrifices are made when moms choose to stay at home. It’s a daily choice to surrender extra time, money, and sometimes sanity that could be found if I worked outside the home. And it’s a lot more work than you might imagine. Visions of stay-at-home moms lounging leisurely beside the pool while the children play are no further from the truth than pink pigs flying through the sky. It doesn’t happen, folks. At least not at this stage of my life. There. I feel validated. May all visions of watching soap operas and eating bon-bons promptly leave. 🙂

A few posts ago I mentioned that I had a change in decoration headed my way, and I thought I’d share it with you today. Several weeks ago I was graciously given my grandmother’s china set along with her crystal goblets. I couldn’t have been more excited! They’re vintage, gorgeous, and they’re family heirlooms…what better reason could I have for wanting a place to display them?! Thus began the hunt for a small china hutch for my dining room. I found one on Craigslist for $40, and it looks like it was made just for my dining room! And the best part? I sold what was previously on that wall for $100, making a $60 profit on my beautiful new china hutch!

Here’s the before picture. Sorry…super fuzzy picture. Don’t look at it too long…it might hurt your eyes! 🙂
And, the after picture.
The size is just perfect for displaying my family’s dinner wear, and the color matches our dining room table perfectly. I couldn’t be happier!!
And now I’m in the mood to host a dinner party!!

I hope you’re all enjoying your summer!

Love Letter

To My Love,

Happy ten year anniversary! Ten years?! It may be a cliche, but is oh so true…time flies when you’re having fun. And I’d say we’ve had our fair share of fun. And our fair share of hurt and stress. But all rolled together, those experiences have made for an amazing journey.

While it was not necessarily love at first site for us, I look back with wonder on the circumstances that brought us together. Who would have ever thought that being asked to lead a campus Bible Study together would end up showing us how perfect we were for one another?! I love that we fell in love as we led others through the most important Book in our lives. I love that from the start, we both have had a passion for people and for the Gospel. And I love that those passions have only gotten stronger over the years. How thankful I am for God’s work in our lives!

Your gentle leadership has led our family through many ups and downs, and I am continually thankful for your godly wisdom. You have taught me that sometimes it’s better to be quiet, listen, and wait…I’m often too quick to be loud, talkative, and impatient. I am certainly thankful that our strengths and weaknesses work together to sharpen and strengthen one another.

When I walked down the aisle on our wedding day, I was certain I could not love you any more than I did at that moment. Oh, how wrong I was! The inscription you had engraved on my engagement ring has proved true over and over again…ILYMED…”I Love You More Every Day.” I do love you more with each passing day, month, and year. Even on days when we haven’t necessarily gotten along, I’ve never stopped loving you. And I can say with complete certainty that my love for you now is larger, deeper, and more personal than it was ten years ago.

Nothing could have prepared me for the journey of parenthood we would take together. What a wild ride! I will never forget when Jayda was born and you became a daddy for the first time. Tears rolled down your cheeks in the whirlwind of the delivery room, and you beamed with pride. You were insistent that you be the one to call her pediatrician’s office to make her two-week check up appointment, because you were so excited to say that you needed to make an appointment for “your daughter.” You were proud from the start! I knew you’d be a great husband, and I knew you’d be a great daddy…but I didn’t know you’d be an absolutely INCREDIBLE daddy! Our three children are blessed beyond measure to have you as their father. Gentle, loving, godly, funny, and kind…you set an example for them that far exceeds anything I expected. Sometimes it makes me think we should bring another Archer baby into the mix! 🙂

I love seeing you use the talent and desires that God has given you. You’re very gifted in your job, and I love coming to visit you at work and watching you in action. You set a great example for those around you in the workplace. I love watching you play your guitar in the worship band at church. You love using your talent for the Lord, and it shows. More recently it’s been fun to watch you use your knowledge of photography and video editing at church. There’ve been many nights you’ve worked late to finish something, but you’ve never complained. You love to work quietly and inconspicuously behind the scenes to accomplish work for the church, and more importantly for the glory of the Lord. That’s a challenge to me. Thank you for always working with a servant’s heart. I know that our children will one day view your service as an example and challenge to them.

Thank you for always being my number one cheerleader. You are always quick to encourage, and slow to say anything negative. Several years ago when I asked if it was crazy to start this new thing called a blog, you encouraged me to try it. I have struggled to be consistent with my writing, and you’ve been the one who has encouraged me to continue. You’d ask what my blog plans were for the week. God knew that I needed a writing outlet, and He used you to encourage me to do it. Were it not for your encouragement, I’d not have tried many of the endeavors that I have. You’ve shown me that I’m capable of more than I once thought.

Thank you for putting up with my crazy ideas to always change decorations around the house. We’ve had some “interesting” conversations about this topic, but you’ve always been willing to let me try my sometimes over-the-top ideas. You’ve applauded me when those ideas worked, but you’ve never said “I told you so” when they haven’t worked. Thank you for that.

I know we had hoped to go on a trip for our ten year anniversary, and I’m really sorry that it won’t work. It would be easy to sulk and fuss about not being able to afford a trip of any kind. But your positive outlook on it has encouraged and blessed me. While it may not be anything fancy, I cannot wait to spend the entire day with you. A day for just the two of us. I’m excited to hold your hand while we sip coffee and talk. I’m excited to eat a meal with you without anyone spilling their milk or fighting with their siblings. I’m excited to have uninterrupted time to talk…really talk…to reminisce the past ten years and daydream about the next ten years.

My dear, this letter could continue for a very long time. I have so much for which to thank you. These ten years have been the best of my life, and I’m very much looking forward to another ten years with you. Thank you for everything. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. ILYMED!!!

Love,
Me

A 10-Year Reflection

Ten years ago today began the wedding decoration overhaul to my hometown church. I say overhaul because this church I so dearly love…it had orange carpet and orange padded pews. Yes, orange! It needed some work. My mom spent many hours hot-gluing artificial flowers to the garden trellis that would become the centerpiece of the stage for my wedding. Lavender-colored flowers, beautiful Boston ferns, and just the right amount of tulle…it was a beautiful setting for a June garden-themed wedding.

Having just barely turned twenty years old, I now realize I was a very young and naive bride. I thought I was prepared, though. After all, we had completed our pre-marital counseling, answering in detail each and every question in our book. Throughout our year-long engagement we logged countless hours in discussion about our future marriage. I devoured books written on the topic of love and marriage, and just about ran out a package of highlighters, meticulously underlining important quotes. The programs were folded, the music orchestrated, and my dress (which would become the last size 8 I’d ever wear) was pressed and glistening beautifully in the dressing room. It was all perfect. And I was over the moon excited!

And then I blinked. And now, two moves to different houses, three children, and ten years later…I’m still over the moon excited. And more in love with this man than I was ten years ago.

Reflecting back on our journey over the last ten years, there are many things that have happened exactly like I’d have hoped. Yet, there are just as many things that I might have hoped for differently. Most of those not-so-wonderful instances could have played out much differently had I a better attitude and outlook. And so, it’s ten years late, but here’s a letter I’d have written to myself had I the knowledge, experience, and (dare I say?!) wisdom that I have now.

Dear Emily,
     You are about to embark on an amazing journey. A journey filled with many experiences and more emotions than you ever thought possible. Sometimes marriage will seem so different than you expected, and you might be disappointed. But, sometimes marriage will seem so much better than you expected, and you will be thrilled. You’ll experience a pendulum swing of emotions, and that’s okay. It’s part of it, honey.

There will be times when you and Tanner feel completely differently on a topic. You will wonder how this man whom you once thought so perfectly matched to you could have such a differently opinion than you. You’ll be tempted to despair. Don’t. You are two different people, while although compatible and made for each other, have many differences. Embrace those differences. They are what make you good for each other! 

     You will think the best way to show your husband your love is to cook for him, do his laundry, and keep the house clean. While these things are important and meaningful to him, what he wants most is you. Your time. Your energy. Don’t run yourself ragged with things that aren’s as important as you think. He simply wants you. Be thankful for that. 

     There will be some financially trying times in your marriage. At one point, you’ll only have $50 to your name, and this will be very difficult. And while you will never have an overabundance of money, God will always provide. You’ll be amazed at the unique ways He provides for your needs. These hard times, while stretching and trying, will eventually bring you and Tanner closer together. Trust the Lord. 

     Watching Tanner become a daddy will make you fall in love with him all over again. You will experience a whole new love for him, as well as a whole new level of stress and frustration. Parenting, while wonderful and amazing, is hard work. You’ll ooh and ahh together over the tiny new life of your babies, and then you’ll lament together over the fact that you have been cursed blessed with three colicky babies. The nonstop crying and projectile vomitting of your daughters will threaten to break you. But in the end, it will make you. You will both be better individuals because of the seemingly endless nights with new babies and sick toddlers. 

     In the beginning of your marriage, nights out happen effortlessly. Date nights are common, and you’ll love each one of them. Once children are added into your family, date nights will be difficult, if not downright impossible, to schedule. This will get frustrating. You’ll miss these date nights. Remember that date nights don’t have to be fancy. Schedule a late night at-home dinner after the kids are in bed. Put on a pot of decaf after the kids have fallen asleep…cuddle and talk together while sipping your coffee. Simplicity is often refreshing. 

     Crazy things will happen in your marriage. Things you can’t prepare for, no matter how hard you try. Your seemingly perfect rental house early in your marriage will prove to be infested with crickets, mice, and yes, even a squirrel in the basement. This will make you want to move back in with your parents. But you’ll survive. Said critter incident will force you to purchase your first home sooner than you’d planned, but it will be the best decision you could have made early in your marriage. Your basement will one day flood, causing your overnight houseguests to wake up floating on their air mattress. It will flood again the next night, causing over a foot of water to destroy your belongings and cause more stress than imaginable. But you’ll be okay. It will all work out, and you’ll learn a valuable lesson about the material things you once thought so vastly important. 

     Because you starved yourself to ensure you’d fit into your wedding dress, you’ll never again be the small size you were on the day of your wedding. For the first eight or nine years of your marriage, you will work tirelessly to lose weight that was gained through three pregnancies. This is such a futile effort. Those years will be spent wasted on thinking poorly of your body, which affects not only your attitude, but your relationship with your husband. Finally, after nine and half years, you will come to the realization that this obsession is ridiculous. You will lay aside expectations to ever be a size eight again, and you’ll learn to see your body as miraculous…after all, it gave you three beautiful babies! 

     For the first nine years of your marriage you will talk about and plan your ten-year anniversary trip to Hawaii. All you could afford in your young marriage was a honeymoon to Minnesota. Surely in ten years you’d have saved the money for a “real” trip. You’ll quickly realize that a trip to Hawaii is not going to happen…probably ever. Then as your ten year anniversary nears, you’ll be disappointed that not only are you not going on a trip, but your anniversary “gift” to each other will be a new refrigerator and garage door to replace the ones that broke. There’s not really enough money to pay for those, let alone a gift of any sort. And so you’ll be sad, but you’re certain that it doesn’t really matter in the end. What matters is walking through life with your best friend by your side. And in that you can celebrate. 

 Please, please remember that your attitude often sets the tone for the entire household. The old saying is true….when momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy! Relax and realize that not everything has to be so serious. Have fun. Laugh. Be goofy. It’s good for you and for everyone around you. 

 You will learn so much the first ten years of your marriage, and you’ll be quite certain that the next ten years will bring even larger lessons. Never stop learning. Always be open to change. Give of yourself. Love deeply. And most important of all…always, always, always keep Jesus Christ at the center of your marriage. To Him be the glory forever!

Love,
Your Older and Wiser Self

If you’re the romantic type, tune in Friday, when I’ll post a letter to my wonderful husband. Friday is our actual ten year anniversary, and I can’t wait to celebrate! While we may not be doing anything fancy, the fact I can celebrate a decade of marriage with my best friend is gift enough. See you Friday!

New Mercies Each Morning

Lamentations 3:22-23
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

When things looked grim, my mom always told me that they’d look better in the morning. Once again, my mom is right. Why didn’t I learn earlier in life that she is right most of the time?! 🙂

After my last blog post, I began wondering if I made a mistake posting it. It was negative and complainy…but, you know what? It’s how I was feeling, and it was very real. After a good night of sleep and a day of resting yesterday, I am feeling much more like myself.

While I’m still not super excited that five days of plans were overhauled, I have come to remember that I can be thankful and find something good in every circumstance. For instance, while everyone else was laying around yesterday, Titus and I worked on baking cookies for his birthday party. We probably wouldn’t have done this if we weren’t forced to stay in the house all day. How cute is he?! I didn’t have much of an appetite while I was sick, and I lost another pound. That’s good, right?! 🙂

I finally read some magazines that have been in my reading pile for a long time.

I guess I’ve had an attitude adjustment, and I am thankful for that. It’s not fun camping out in pity party land!

While we’re still coughing and a bit tired, we’re enjoying this beautiful day outside. It feels good to see the light of day again! 🙂

 

 

Race 4 The Cure

A couple weeks ago, my family had the privilege of walking the 5K Race For The Cure in Des Moines. This was the first year I’ve done it, and I was honored to walk in celebration of my mom’s brave fight against breast cancer.

Isn't she beautiful?! So proud of her!

It was more of an emotional day than I expected it to be. I was overwhelmed by how many people were walking with signs saying “In Memory” of a loved one. Oh, how thankful I was that my mom was able to walk along side my daughter as I captured this picture. Hand in hand with Jayda, and in great health, my mom made me very proud!Mom, I know I don’t tell you enough that I love you and I’m so proud of you! You’re a fantastic woman to look up to, and I am eternally grateful for you. Your fight against breast cancer has not been an easy one, but you have taken each step with great bravery and courage. Your love for and dependance upon the Lord has been so evident through it all, and I’m deeply challenged by that. Thank you for letting God use your life to touch many others. I love you!!

We love our Mom!!!

 

My FAVORITE guys!!!

Apparently, the 3-mile walk was a bit too much for Tony!!

This last picture is worth more than gold to me…my mom snuggling my kiddos after she walked down the “Survivor Lane” at the end of the race. Words can’t really begin to express how full this makes my heart. Psalm 145:8-“The Lord is gracious and full of compassion.” WHAT JOY!!!!