This girl…she marches to the beat of my drum. Sometimes that makes my heart swell…other times it makes my heart sink. She mimics the good, the bad, and the ugly of my life.

I was overcome by this realization last week when she stepped on the bathroom scale and her face beamed as she excitedly announced, “Mom, I lost weight!”

My heart felt as heavy as a brick. What have I been teaching my sweet girl?

You see, I realized how often I step on that dreaded scale. I thought I was hiding my reactions to those digital numbers, but obviously she has picked up on my responses.

If my actions mimic what goes on in my heart and mind (which I now realize they do), my sweet, sweet girls will know that mommy thinks she’s fat, unattractive, and overly critical of every area of her body. This is not what I intended to teach my children.

Oh, how I need an overhaul of my heart and mind.

And so today, I put the scale away. I don’t want it to control my life anymore. I won’t bring it back out until I can honestly say that it controls me no longer.

I have to realize that my thoughts and feelings greatly impact my children, especially my two girls, when it comes to issues of beauty. What will they learn from their mamma? Will they learn that beauty comes only through tight muscles, smooth skin, and thick flowing hair? I sure hope not.

I want to teach them what God wants to teach them. That, “beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (1 Peter 3:3-4)

Before I can teach them this invaluable lesson, I must first learn it and live it myself.

I don’t want these precious girls to think that the life of a woman is defined by counting calories, exercising like mad, and finding worth in the numbers on a scale. I don’t want to live like that, either.

I will teach them:
*to cook with joy
*to eat with both pleasure and restraint
*to exercise because it makes them feel strong, not because they are a slave to it
*to see the beauty in how God created them
*to see the beauty in how God created everyone else around them

And thus begins a new journey for myself. I started these “Wellness Wednesday” posts hoping to be held accountable to watching the numbers on the scale decline. And now, I want these posts to journal a change in my heart, mind, and attitude.

Good-bye, scale. Hello, new journey. I’m anxious to see where you’ll take us!