My heart is heavy this afternoon as I type this post. This week has been one of many uncertainties, questions, and lots of faith and trust.

Tuesday afternoon my mother had a needle biopsy for what the surgeon called a “suspicious” mass.  On Wednesday we all waited in suspense to hear the results. Much to our surprise and dismay, the results were disheartening, and I now have to say something I never wanted to….my mother has breast cancer.

My heart is overwhelmed by so many thoughts and emotions, and I must ashamedly admit that not all of those emotions have been God-honoring. I’ve felt saddened, overwhelmed, and angry.

But God, in His patient and loving way, keeps reminding me that He is no less in control than if those test results would have come back the way we had all hoped. I do not pretend to understand God’s reasoning for the hard paths He asks some of His children to travel, but I trust that His plan for my dear mother is so much better than any plan I could concoct.

These next several months will be a long and hard journey for my mom, as well as for all of us who love her so dearly. She will be having surgery within the next few weeks, but there are still some unknowns about her treatment plan after the surgery.

We would covet your prayers for so many things…wisdom in her decision-making, wisdom and guidance for the physicians involved, and a peace that passes all understanding for her and for her family, as well. May God give us the eyes to see His plan, and feet that are willing to follow His plan.

I’ll end this post with the words from a song by Daniel Renstrom that have been such an encouragement to my heart, and I pray it will bless your heart, too, Mom. I love you so much more than you’ll ever know.

Grace so amazing, so divine
That came after me when I was blind.
Awakening affections for the Son,
that taught my heart to fear with love.

And if in sin Rescue came to me,
how much more will You now be with me!

Where could I go? Where could I go? That You are not with me.
The darkest of night to You will be light,
because You are still with me.